I am sorry .....

I was not down at the streets yesterday. You can say I sort of 'chicken out' the last minute. It was an event which I looked forward to for a long time. Ever since attending those Anti-Isa candlelight vigils in PJ in a small group and often harassed by the police, I had wished that we would have a massive gathering on the scale of Bersih to tell the Govt that ISA has to go. I stopped attending the vigils after a while because I felt we were not making any impact being hidden in some corner of MBPJ out of the public sight.

So I was glad when GMI announced that they will have a massive gathering at the beginning of the year. It was supposed to be held in March/Apr but was postponed to 1 Aug. And when Pakatan said they would support it I knew it was going to be a success. I trust those guys from PAS Unit Amal to maintain order and ensure the safety of the participants. So I began to encourage some of the people I know to go.

Then, this Pro-Isa group announced that they are also going to gather and march at the same time. And from some of the statements they or their supporters made, got me worried. They seem to be a very irrational lot. No rational people would connect the ISA with race and religion. To me they are either calling a bluff or they are serious and bent on creating havoc and chaos on that day. I know our numbers can overwhelmed them but it doesn't take many to create trouble. It was then that I had second thoughts about going.

As the day approaches, it also dawned on me that I have become very unfit physically. For nearly 2 years I have stopped exercising on a regular basis. I have became obese. More than 35kg above my optimum weight. I don't think I can even run 50 m without collapsing. I can't imagine how I'm going to run when the tear gas and water cannons start to rain. I may be a liability to those who go with me. So after struggling for the whole week, I made a final decision on Saturday morning, not to go.

Reading the news and hearing from my friends who went, I can't help feeling sad for not being part of history. I regret for being unable to share the suffering of being tear gassed with my fellow Malaysians. I feel ashamed for not standing together with thousands of patriotic and brave Malaysians shouting for the abolition of ISA. I salute those senior citizens who may be just as physically unfit like me, and yet was there. They made me feel even more ashamed.

I want to say a big thank you for all those who were there yesterday. You made me proud to be a Malaysian. Btw, in one of the videos I saw a Malay couple each holding a poster of Tan Beng Hock. This is 1Malaysia for me. Not the fake version propogated by Najib.

The ISA will continue to remain as part of our laws as long as BN remains in power. To remove ISA, we need to remove the BN first. So let us start working together towards this end.

Hidup! Hidup! Hidup Rakyat!

Hancur! Hancur! Hancur BN!

Mansuh! Mansuh! Mansuh ISA!